My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
