whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
