Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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