i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize