I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
