People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
