Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
