I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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