just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
