i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
