I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You smell like stripper and shame
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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