She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
