Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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