just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
