OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
