Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
