my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
