I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
the raccoons are back...
Randomize