so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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