i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
