I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
