Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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