im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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