Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
