it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
