Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
