'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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