I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize