some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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