i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
