last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
