dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
