YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
