He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
