Please, let me fuck your mom
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
