im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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