Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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