It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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