she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm having to shit out rocks
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
