My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize