Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
