just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
