How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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