Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
