i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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