Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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