Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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