how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
