a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
