you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
