im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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