in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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