i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize