maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
