she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
