"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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