any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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