I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
