I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
