my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
