Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
