I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
