It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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