this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
