$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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