apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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