There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You are the jesus of drinking
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
