happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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