Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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